Me and My Muse Conversations
by Kells
Summary: PG13 for language and crude humor. As some know, this was started way back when, and was movied to ficitonpress, I moved it back here to spoofs and parodies.


Authors Note/Disclaimer at the end…if I did it here, it'd ruin the whole thing.

******

Sooo, I found this notebook, and I thought, "Gee, this looks empty, it needs to be filled up!" So, nifty idea right? Of course it was! And, well, yeah, I was hoping, that maybe you could help me do that…by writing a story maybe please?

Why in the name of Hades would I be asked to write a story?

Well, because you're my muse.

Okay, Well, why would I do such a thing?

*smiles sweetly* Because you love me lots?

I think you've mixed me up with another muse…

I have?

Yes.

Damn! I guess I'll have to *poke* you.

Hey! That hurt!

Liar.

Hey! I am not a liar!

Sure about that?

Yes. Hmm…I need a name.

Hmm…How about annoying?

*laughs jokingly* Uh, Uhm, No.

Okay then, How about JD?

Isn't JD your fish's name?

Yes, I'm aware of the factor.

How about Sally?

You don't look like a Sally…Plus-

-But-

-You don't look like a dust bunny, and-

-But-

-Plus, you don't teacher me poker…nor can you cheat very well at it.

So?

Trust me, Sally isn't you.

* sings a song *

That was "Low," wasn't it?

Yes…

So…. write a songfic.

Nah, I'd rather not.

Please?

Oh, and HOW would it start?

Easy:

         "Sally the dust bunny was "hopping" along one afternoon when she heard Jet talking     about Jenny. It was a horrible thing he said, He called Jenny a dusty dust bunny!"

Would you give up on Sally?

Never

Besides, what publisher would take that kind of crap?

Uhm…A British one?

Oh my you are mean!

Besides, I was joking, none of them would. But that's okay. Because ffn will let you.

Oops…

You spilled pop* on me.

Pop, for you nasty non-Western New York dunderheaded people is what you may refer to as soda, soda pop, coke Pepsi or something else, you ebil ones. 

Yes, I did.

You spilled POP on ME

Yeah? So…?

Is that what you think of me?

Actually, less.

What?

I think of you as nothing more than a mosquito.

Hey! That's still bigger than some….

Ew.

…. virus. Why? What did YOU think I was gonna say?

Nothing. Drop it.

Been talking to Ady and Nicole too much lately huh?

NO!

Aww, come on, Fess up

Okay…maybe a little…

See, admitting it helps.

No, not really.

Well, I'm proud of you.

Eh? Why?

Well, I heard about your last muse…

And?

And how he…well, ya know, mysteriously…ceased to exist.

So?

They, Well, They said you did it.

Hogwash! 

How many people do you think thought you were gonna say Hogwarts?

Prolly only you.

Back to my name…

-I like Brandon.

Ooh! GREAT idea!

I thought so-

-From Brandon to Alexa!

Dude-

-I can just see it! Two player partyish people-

-Dude! -

-Both looking for something new-

DUDE!

-What?

Ever heard of From Justin to Kelly?

Uhm…*blush* no…

*sigh*

-We could change the names! And, change a line here and there! Think! Your own songs and millions! See the diamonds…

*Gets caught in seeing diamonds* NO! No, we CAN'T do that. Hello! Heard of a little thing called copyright infringement?!

I resemble that remark.

Obviously

You know…I know why you've gone through sooo many muses.

Care to enlighten me?

Sure! Well, it's because you're so mean to them. No wonder no muses want to take this job!

Well, some muses are asses.

I will agree-

-Plus some muses like a good challenge.

I get that…

I'm just kinda hard to break ya know…?

That's for sure…

I'm just really misunderstood.

There's a great-

-A GREAT song title! Or for a fic! Or hell, BOTH!

I was going to say that…          

So, go on.

"Go on" with what exactly?

With writing.

*mumbles quietly* Now I understand…

Understand…what exactly?

Understand what everyone meant when they said you expect too much.

Uhm…I SO resent that. WHO here, has the paper, and the pen? Not to mention who has the hand. You know, the hand, writing this, and those which will later type this? Not to mention, my paper, it looks a little empty.

Empty woman? You've been writing this whole convo down. Use that!

No

Why not?

Because it's not funny.

It's not?

Nope not in the slightest.

Are we reading different conversations?

Erm, probably.

*sigh*

You know…you still remind me of a JD

Oh Gods, not this again!

It's true.

Not true

…You still look like a Jelly donut then…

I do?

Yesh. You do.

Good enough to eat?

Prolly…even better actually, I could gobble you up.

Really?

No…But I'm still hungry.

Then eat the rest of your 'Tato chips?

No…I wanted Salt-n-Vinegar, and these are regular…and too greasy.

Then…Can I eat them?

NO! *growlpokebitechomp*

Ouch! You need rehab!

I'm at the asylum only 3 days a week now. *grins* They say I'm improving.

I think they're nuts.

Me too…paying them off with jelly donuts and chocolate coins work wonders…

*muse changes shape*

Do I turn you on, Baby?

Ew! EEEW! EEEEEEEEWWW!

What?

That's disgusting.

It wasn't meant to be.

I'm not so hungry anymore.

*muse changes shape again*

Better?

Not really.

What? I'm a lion now

Exactly

What's so wrong with lions?

Ew. I like snakes.

Why?

I'm evil and conniving, not brave.

I take it you're a Slytherin then?

Well, I thought you'd have noticed by now. Duh. Slytherin's the only way to go.

You know…

You say that a lot.

I know…but

Yes?

You have a lot of unfinished stories laying around, and songs.

Point please?

Finish them!

Nah.

Why not?

I have no inspiration *hintcoughnudgenudge*

*sigh*

Now you know how I feel…

Go away.

That's the greatest idea you've had all night! But…hmm…

Hmm…what?

Hmm…as in, how do I dispose of you?

I'll go willingly!

No no, that won't work…and I need something new.

Ok…Received hint.

Good. *thinks*

~*20 min Later*~

Get over here.

Okay…Why?

Just Git over here NOW!

*whimper*

See that cloud?

Yes…

Jump…and catch it! 

But…you can't catch it…or bubbles…for that matter…

Bubbles?!

It's a long story…

Obviously.

Don't ask.

Wasn't gonna.

Okay, so I just grab it?

Yup, "just grab it"

*jumps off the side of a 54 story building trying to grab a cloud while Kelly looks on ebily*

Weee! I got rid of him!

A/N: Wow, this got looooong. Helloooooooooo down there! Hehe! Uh-oh, He's coming up the stairs.

Why did you do that?

Because I don't like you.

Hint taken.

Okay, now lemme finish

Ahem, as I was saying, this got long, and I luffs it! Now to the Disclaimers…

Disclaimer: We all now that familiar shtuff from Harry Potter belongs t the fabulous Joanne Rowling! From Justin to Kelly was created by whoever wrote the script…(It's a great musical btw, in the mood for any cheesy movie, go see it) Sally the dust bunny belongs to the Queen of the Dustbunnys, my rather eccentric friend Tiffany, to whom this is dedicated, because she got me off my arse and writing. Uhm, the line "Hogwash" was from Practical Magic and the "Do I turn you on Baby" was, obviously, from Austin Powers.

I think that's all of importance, most of the things are rather self-explanatory, everyone knows about them, and they know that I don't own them.

OOH. Btw, this fic used to be under "original humor" and now I'm putting it under "Spoofs and Parodies" so, the other two chapters, written before this, are actually going to be made into one and put after this. Perhaps I'll even be so kind as to rewrite them? Who knows?


End file.
